hilarious-junk:

stillborn-love:

lewkar:

unclebromo:

wanktissue:

one of my really old good friends deleted me on facebook because i didn’t go bowling with him

I guess you can say you guys split

he didn’t really spare your feelings

strike three

man, he just threw you in the gutter

(via rougeuxx)

imfamousontumblr:

when somebody actually texts me first and wants to hang out

(Source: mannysantosisgonnabefamous, via big--apple)

twatsmussen:

ohsnapitsnik:

sherlockey-werlockey-stuff:

IS NEMO GOING TO BE A SASSY REBELLIOUS TEENAGER

“no dad you don’t understand me”

nemo

(Source: admiraljaneway, via oddteens)

thelittleturtleduck:

doctoroket:

kakarikovillage:

the snack that smiles back

children

what is wrong with this website

(via cherry-cocachola)

221bec:

professionalmisandrist:

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick

(Source: tr3ndyc00l, via cherry-cocachola)

sherlocked-with-thebeatles:

isoscelesbanana:

happilyconcealed:

nosleepjustcoffee:

laugh-addict:

One late night, you are up in your bedroom when you hear your mom calling you downstairs. You are halfway down the staircase when all of a sudden, you see your mom in front of her bedroom door, terrified, she whispers, ‘Don’t go downstairs. I heard her, too.’

Who do you believe?

THE ULTIMATE SATAN POST OMG

I’ve figured out the riddle; you have two mothers.

(Source: moriarty, via yeezz)

is-this-love-or-lunacy:

today there were these 12 year old boys hanging around. as i got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “can i get your number?” and i turned around and said “why, you need a babysitter?”

(Source: beautilation, via yeezz)